Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.
The galactic council watched on to see how humanity would handle the task, much as they had with several species before. What the test was supposed to show was whether or not a species of violent nature could ever be brought to work together. They finally picked something up, another ship already headed to Mars? Was it possible humans were that clever to have found the key, maybe it was more specialists and equipment to analyze the locked crate to ensure it was safe to open. A few minutes after landing, they got another broadcast from the red planet.
“This is the LockPickingLawyer and today I’ve got something quite special, this locked alien chest. First of all I have to thank everyone who recommended me for the job, I’m honored that you all thought of me. Now let’s get to work”
The council representatives were confused as they started analyzing the translation, before even getting through the name he spoke something haunting
“Normally I don’t say things like this but this lock is quite unique, however with no security pins it will still be quite quick.”
“There we go, a click on 3… “
All the species of the galactic council sat dumbfounded, they spent many galactic cycles refining and perfecting their study and in all their time not a singular race had tried this method. Click after click, even in such an intricate lock the human had only spent around five minutes tampering with it.
“There we go, now while I can’t open this as part of my video I can say that I at least have a clue what the key should look like in case it ever gets locked again. I admire the design choices and the fact that at least it was harder to get open than anything Master Lock has made”
“if you are over 30 on Tumblr the mental illness won” “the aging fanbase of Tumblr” motherfucker if you are over 30 and have been here the entire time it means the mental illness didn’t win we are still alive WE MADE IT
[Caption: four pictures of mushrooms that are growing in a way that makes them look like 1. fingers reaching up from under a fallen tree, 2. screaming mouths or beaks on a branch, 3. outer ears breaking through bark, 4. a hand coming out of the ground.]
sending love to everyone who wants to do better but can’t find the energy to make the necessary changes. sending love to everyone who wonders if their exhaustion is permanent. sending love to everyone who’s tired of feeling stuck.
ALT
